克服焦虑的解药 The antidote to overcoming anxiety

克服焦虑的解药 The antidote to overcoming anxiety
The temptation, when dealing with anxiety, is always and invariably to focus on the ostensible cause of our worry:
在处理焦虑时，我们经常不自觉地将注意力集中在所担心的表面原因上：
let's say, the journey to the airport, or the forthcoming speech, or the letter one's waiting for, or the presentation one has to hand in…
比如前往机场的路途、即将发表的演讲、正在等待的一封信、必须上交的报告等等。
But if we proceed more psychologically, we might begin in a very different place.
但若从心理学的角度去深入分析，我们或许会有一个非常不同的切入点。
With great kindness and no disrespect, we may step past the objective content of anxiety and look instead at something else: how the anxious person feels about themselves.
我们可以带着满满的善意，不带任何不敬，越过焦虑的具体内容，转而去关注一件更重要的事情：那就是焦虑之人对自己的感受和看法。
An unexpected cause of high anxiety is self-hatred.
一个让人意外的高度焦虑来源是自我厌恶。
People who have grown up not to like themselves very much at all have an above average risk of suffering from extremes of anxiety.
那些从小就不太喜欢自己的人，面临极端焦虑的风险超过一般水平。
Because if one doesn't think one is worthy, it must follow that the world is permanently and imminently at high risk of punishing one in the way one suspects one actually deserves.
因为，当一个人不认为自身值得被爱时，便会认为这个世界永远充满了高度风险，随时都可能给予他们他们认为自己应受的惩罚。
It seems to fit that people may be laughing behind one's back, that one may soon be sacked or disgraced, that one is an appropriate target for bullying and rejection and that persecution and worse may be heading towards us.
似乎别人可能在背后笑话我们，我们可能很快就会被解雇或者遭受耻辱，我们好像成了欺负和排斥的合理目标，甚至可能有更严重的迫害正向我们逼近。
If things seem to be going well, this must just be some deceptively quiet period before others are about to realise their error and mete out some horrific punishment.
如果一切似乎都在顺利进行，那么这很可能只是别人还未意识到他们的错误、还未开始施加可怕惩罚之前的虚假平静期。
For the self-hating, anxiety is a pre-emptive anticipation of the pain that one unconsciously feels one is owed: very bad things must and should happen to very bad people.
对于那些自我憎恨的人来说，焦虑是他们对自认为应得之苦的一种先发性预期；他们相信，坏人身上必将发生糟糕的事情，而且这是理所应当的。
Part of the problem and one of the curious aspects of the way our minds work is that it isn't always clear that one is even suffering from low self-esteem.
问题的一部分，以及我们心智运作方式的一个奇特之处在于，有时候我们甚至意识不到自己正受着低自尊的折磨。
Hating oneself has just become second nature rather than an issue one has the will to rebel against or so much as notice.
自我憎恨已经变得如同第二天性，而不是我们会有意识去反抗或是察觉到的问题。
To tease out the sorrow and start to feel it again, as a prelude to treating it, one might need to fire a few questions at oneself.
要想触碰那份悲伤并再次感受它，作为治愈的开始，可能需要对自己提出几个问题。
We've prepared a Self-Esteem Questionnaire.
我们准备好了一份自尊问卷。
1. Broadly speaking, I like myself as I am.
1. 总体而言，我喜欢自己本身的样子。
Agree strongly? Agree? Neither agree nor disagree? Disagree? Disagree strongly.
非常认同？认同？既不认同也不反对？不同意？强烈反对。
2. People should be relatively grateful to have me in their lives.
2. 人们理应对我出现在他们生活中抱有一定的感激之情。
Agree strongly? Agree? Neither agree nor disagree? Disagree? Disagree strongly.
非常认同？认同？既不认同也不反对？不同意？强烈反对。
3. If I didn't know me, I'd think I was OK.
3. 如果我不了解自己，我可能会认为自己还不错。
Agree strongly? Agree? Neither agree nor disagree? Disagree? Disagree strongly.
非常认同？认同？既不认同也不反对？不同意？强烈反对。
4. Growing up, I was given the feeling that I properly deserved to exist.
4. 在我成长的过程中，我总感觉自己理所当然地存在。
Agree strongly? Agree? Neither agree nor disagree? Disagree? Disagree strongly.
非常认同？认同？既不认同也不反对？不同意？强烈反对。
If one finds oneself at the disagreeing end of many such questions, it may be that one is an agitated person not because one has more to worry about but because one likes oneself rather less than normal – and certainly rather less than one fairly should.
如果有人在很多这样的问题上都倾向于反对，这可能意味着他之所以焦虑，并非因为他有更多事情需要担忧，而是因为他对自己的喜爱程度低于常人——显然也低于他应有的自我欣赏。
The cure isn't, therefore, to try to dispel anxieties with logic, it is to try to dispel it with love.
因此，解决之道并非用逻辑去消解焦虑，而是通过爱去驱散焦虑。
It is to remind the anxious person, who may be ourselves, that we are not inherently wretched, that we have a right to exist, that past neglect wasn't deserved, that we should feel tenderly towards oneself.
要提醒焦虑之人（有可能是我们自己），我们本不该天生就是痛苦的存在，我们有生存的权利，过往的被忽视并非我们所应受的，我们应当对自己持有一份柔软的心情。
And that we need, both metaphorically and probably practically too, a very long hug.
而且我们需要的，无论是比喻还是实际意义上，都是一个长久的拥抱。
The logic of this analysis is truly counter-intuitive.
这一分析的逻辑非常反直觉。
It suggests that when panic next descends, one should not spend too long on the surface causes of the worry and instead, try to address the self-hatred fuelling the agitation.
这意味着，当下次恐慌袭来时，我们不该过多纠结于担忧的表象原因，反而应该试图去解决那些引发不安的自我厌恶问题。
Anxiety is not always anxiety: sometimes it's just a very well-disguised, entrenched and very unfair habit of disliking who we are.
焦虑不总代表真正的焦虑：有时，它仅仅是一种深植于心、伪装良好、且不公正的自我厌恶习惯。【贝贝英语网】