社交中可避免的5个错误 5 avoidable mistakes in social interaction

社交中可避免的5个错误 5 avoidable mistakes in social interaction
First one that has to do with where you put your attention when you're out in public.
首先，关于你在公众场合时应该如何分配你的注意力。
You're talking to someone and maybe for whatever reason you'd like to explore.
当你在和人交流时，可能因为某种原因，你希望探索周围环境。
You want to talk to another person.
你想跟另外一个人聊天。
The worst thing that you could do in that situation is start to scan the room, because you're not making that interaction interesting and fun.
在那种情况下，最糟的做法就是开始环顾四周，因为这样并不能让你的互动变得有趣和吸引人。
It is incredibly hard to get other people to join you when you don't look engaged yourself.
当你自己都显得不感兴趣时，想要吸引别人加入就难上加难。
When you're in conversation, be in it.
当你在交谈时，要全身心投入。
The most interesting point in the whole room is right in between you two.
房间里最吸引人的焦点，正好位于你们两人之间。
Second thing also has to do with attention, and it's to not let someone interrupt you while someone else is talking to you.
第二点同样关乎注意力，即不要在别人跟你说话时，让第三者插话。
I did this I was on the flip side of this.
我就是一个反面教材。
I came in to talk to one friend and he just ignored me.
我本来想找一个朋友聊聊，结果他直接忽略了我。
At first I was a little bit miffed what is he doing and a minute or two later he said hey sorry you had said something what was that?
起初我有些不悦，想知道他究竟在做什么。一两分钟后，他说了声嘿，抱歉，你刚说了什么？
And then he put his attention completely on me.
接着，他就全神贯注地听我说。
I've respected him in that moment, even that I didn't totally like it the fact that he was so centered as to focus on where he was was worthwhile.
那一刻我还是很尊重他，虽然我并不太喜欢他那么专注的态度，但认为他能专心于当下是值得肯定的。
Of course there's times where you don't want to do this.
当然，有时候你可能并不想这么做。
If you're in a big group conversation flows freely, you don't have to ignore everybody else.
如果你处于一个大型群体中，交流会自然而然地进行，你无需故意忽略其他人。
One other time you don't want to do this is when you're in a group of people and someone new enters.
另一个你不希望这么做的时刻，是当你身处一群人之中，而有新的人加入时。
It's actually good to pause the conversation, be the one that incorporates them, and then get things back on track.
其实，最好是暂时停下对话，主动去接纳那位新成员，然后再将话题引回正轨。
Third thing, trapping is the idea that you could be somewhere maybe you're on a booth maybe someone is against a wall, if you don't know them and you kind of close them in it feels very uncomfortable.
第三点，你和对方在小隔间或让对方背对墙壁时，如果你不认识对方，又稍微靠得太近，这会让人感觉非常不自在。
The flip side of this though, if you're out at a bar, lean against the bar when you're talking to someone.
相反，如果你在酒吧里，和别人聊天时倚靠在吧台上会是个不错的选择。
It makes that person feel at ease.
这会让对方感觉更加轻松自在。
It makes everyone else in the room think those people probably know each other fairly well.
这也让屋内其他人认为他们俩可能关系不浅。
If that other person wanders off that's someone that I can comfortably talk to.
如果那个人离开了，我还是可以跟他很自在地交谈。
This takes us to the fourth thing. When you communicate shame, it's generally not a powerful thing especially if what you did was not a big deal.
这引出了沟通中的第四个要点。涉及到羞耻感时，通常情况下，如果你所做的事并不重要，那么它通常不会有太大影响。
This actually happened to my brother.
这件事其实发生在我兄弟身上。
It's something that happens all the time.
这是常有的事。
People got our names mixed up.
人们经常把我们的名字搞错。
This person called him by my name, and afterwards… oh sorry sorry.
这个人错把我的名字叫成了他的，随后他说哦，非常抱歉。
The weird thing is literally today someone else did the same thing, but went… oh no you're Henry you're Charlie sorry.
奇怪的是，就在今天，又有一个人搞错了，但却这样表现：哦不，我搞错了，你是Henry不是Charlie，抱歉。
But it was this sense that nothing had happened that was wrong.
重要的是这种什么错误都没发生的感觉。
So if you've made a mistake, particularly a social one that wasn't on purpose, do not hang your head.
因此，如果你无意中犯了一个错误，特别是在社交方面的，就不要垂头丧气。
That's just going to communicate that this mistake is more grievous than it actually is.
这样做只会让人觉得这个错误比实际上更加严重。
The last thing that we're going to be touching on, the eyebrow flash.
我们接下来要谈到的最后一个话题，是眉毛的快速抬升。
And what it means is that you generally know this person and like this person.
这表明你通常对这个人既熟悉又喜欢。
Say you're seeing a friend that you know.
假如你遇到了一个认识的朋友。
Hey what's going on and those eyebrows lift.
嘿，怎么了？看你那抬起的眉毛。
If you try to do this like I have been for the last 30 minutes in the mirror, you're going to be a weirdo.
如果你尝试像我一样，在镜子前这样做了整整30分钟，你会显得有点怪异。
I cannot recommend putting this one on purposely, so don't.
我不建议你故意这样做，所以别这么做。【贝贝英语网】